Endurance

Today is just one of those days where I just want to crawl back into bed and avoid living for a while, for several days sounds good right now. It is total torture to do the bare minimum at this point. I get the dishes done, but instead of putting them directly into the dishwasher, they pile up in the sink because I have a load in the dishwasher that needs to be put away. Its actually the kids job and they do pretty well, but I dont even want to bother arguing with the kids to get it done because it is an argument EVERYTIME. "Im last" "I went first last time", "we ALWAYS have to put away the dishes" UGH!!!!
I get laundry washed and dried, but then it just sits on my couch. I also am able to make my bed and shower every day, but I dont bother doing my hair, make up or dressing up.
I have really been struggling with my depression for about a year now. I say struggling because its not NEAR what it has been before and its so on and off. I feel it randomly through the day, some days only once or twice and some days its one minute I feel like giving up and the next I remember how blessed I am and how much more joy I have been able to feel in the last couple of years. My lows are not really very bad, but I think because I am not as used to feeling depression as I used to be, when I do feel it, its not as familiar of a feeling and I react differently. As I type this I realize that a lot of it has to do with my hormones!
Im not posting this for sympothy. In fact I think I would rather it not be acknowledged. I am posting for myself since I havent kept a journal in years and this is my journal. I'm sure my girls will suffer through some of the same things and want to beable to share the things I went through, so they know that I understand, and I ENDURED!!